It’s been a busy, hectic week, so I’m a little off my usual schedule. (I don’t schedule posts more than a day in advance right now, so if I’m behind, it tends to show.)
I was called for jury duty this week and actually serve on a one-day civil case. Without getting into specifics, I do want to say that my faith in humanity was slightly restored through working with my fellow jurors. They made me realize that there are still times, despite what we see on the news and social media, when good people can come together and debate things in a civil manner. So kudos to them!
We saw Mayim Bialik speak in Orlando this past weekend. Her talk also restored my faith in humanity, so it’s been a great week for positivity, despite the busy factor.
I had a moment after the QA portion of her show that I’m trying to hang on to, because it worked wonders for me. An audience member asked if she would ever teach science (since she has her doctorate). She said that was the plan, but after having kids, she felt called to stay home with them. She took a few years off after finishing her thesis and then returned to acting because it allowed her to spend more time with them.
The mom guilt crept in when she said that. That feeling she described – that it’s your calling to be 100% there for your kids – I feel that, too. It must be biology.
Regardless of where it comes from it makes the whole working mom thing that much more difficult. Every time I hear another mom describe that feeling, my heart aches.
As we walked home from the show, for the first time I was able to turn the mom guilt around. I realized I had already made a similar sacrifice to be present for my child.
Granted, I have to work. That’s sort of a given for my family. However, I chose to pursue work outside of teaching when I knew we were getting ready to start a family. No, that wasn’t the only reason I left, but it was definitely a big deciding factor when the pro/con lists came out. I knew that to be a great teacher, I would have to continue bringing my work home with me, and that was not something I was willing to do.
Now, although I work, I am able to leave my work at work 98% of the time and focus on my family when I am home. Occasionally other things come up, for for the most part, I can work around my son’s waking hours so I am fully present as mom.
Next time you’re feeling the mom guilt, I hope you can also pinpoint the way(s) you have made choices to be there for your family too!